One by one, they line up in the hallway: Moms with babies on one hip, in strollers, and in carriers, many with toddlers and older kids in tow. Some of the youngest peek through the open doorway, eyes wide with anticipation.
Awaiting them, in a cozy room at Solid Ground’s Broadview Shelter & Transitional Housing for domestic violence (DV) survivors, is a long table crammed with food: barbeque drumsticks, mac and cheese, corn casserole, salads, and desserts of various kinds – most of it made fresh that afternoon by the moms themselves.
Kim serves up a plateful of comfort (photo by Rachael Green).
“Hello! You look lovely, by the way. Did you have fun this weekend?” Kim C., a Children’s Advocate at Broadview, greets one little girl while heaping food onto her plate. “What else? Mac and cheese? Bread? Potatoes?”
The dinner, which draws about 20 women and children on this dreary Monday night, is one tool that Broadview staff use to build community, create space for joy and healing, and spark informal support networks for families who’ve often left everything behind – including any community support – in order to escape abusive and violent relationships.
“The community dinner gives them an opportunity to connect with other adults – and then those adults function as an informal support system for our families – whether it’s ‘Hey, can you drive me to Costco and we’ll split the gas?’ or ‘Can you watch my kids while I go to the grocery store?’ says Kim. “This is a very low-stakes opportunity to rebuild relationships with other people and start to rebuild that community.”
A recipe for community support
Around 300 adults and children find refuge and healing every year at Broadview, where they’re welcomed into their own furnished, private apartment and can take advantage of free childcare, parenting classes, financial coaching, behavioral health care, and other support to help them begin to rebuild their lives.
Broadview staff are with them every step of the way, staying by their side as they apply to replace critical documents they’ve left behind, sign their children up in new and unfamiliar schools, and attend court appointments.
The monthly dinners, part of Broadview’s Collaborative Cooking program, can play a critical role in that journey, helping survivors build new social connections and support networks after experiences with DV that often leave them isolated from friends and family.
“It’s a strategy that people use to exert power and control over another person,” Kim says. “‘If I can get you isolated away from your support systems, then I have more control over what decisions you’re going to make, because you only have me influencing you.’
“We see that a lot, where people are cut off from their family, from their friends – so when they come here, they don’t have those other folks to rely on.”
Collaborating in the healing process
Broadview residents who participate in the three-month Collaborative Cooking program agree to cook six meals, three for weekly support groups and three for the monthly community dinners. They have access to ingredients as well as food safety training – not only a code requirement for Broadview but also a useful credential for future jobs.
Before every dinner, Kim checks in with participating residents to see what they plan to cook – making sure there’s a well-rounded offering – and places an order for any ingredients they need. All of it is provided to residents for free, thanks to the voter-approved Best Starts for Kids initiative.
In addition to the monthly community dinner, participating residents meet weekly at one of two support groups, built around their identity as either a parent or a DV survivor. One resident prepares the meal for each meeting.
Since the cooking program started, the support groups have grown so popular that staff started to keep a waitlist because of the limits of the small meeting room. While the parents talk and share support there, their children play games and have fun with Broadview staff in the next room.
“It’s a really important time for people to come together, talk about their experiences, relate to each other, and learn something too,” Kim says. “It’s a private time just for them to open up and really feel like they can be vulnerable, which is why we offer that childcare.”
Creating space for joy
The monthly dinners, in contrast, are all joyful chaos. Mothers sit in groups chatting while kids dash from table to table and babies crawl across the floor under the watchful eye of whichever mom happens to be closest. It has the feel of a raucous family gathering – which it is, in all the ways that matter.
“It’s been such a positive and welcoming environment. It gives me a chance to connect with other moms and feel a sense of community, which I really needed.”
~Broadview mom
On this particular evening, a pair of librarians from the Seattle Public Library set up a table covered with a selection of free books for the kids to bring back to their apartments.
And in a nearby room, Amy H., another Broadview staffer, shows kids how to stick colorful scraps of crepe paper onto contact paper cut in the shapes of shamrocks and flower blossoms.
“It’s once-a-month chaos of everyone having fun and getting to know each other and eating,” Kim says. Often, the dinners serve as a space for residents to share their food and culture with their neighbors and rediscover lost passions. “It gives folks an opportunity to connect with each other over food.” And while not all Broadview residents speak the same language, “for some people, food is their love language.”
“I’ve loved learning new recipes, especially healthier ones,” says one mother of three, with a fourth on the way. “It’s been such a positive and welcoming environment. It gives me a chance to connect with other moms and feel a sense of community, which I really needed.
“It’s also helped me reconnect with something I love, cooking,” she says. “For a long time, I found myself putting my own needs last and mainly cooking what my husband preferred. Since leaving, this experience has given me space to figure out what I enjoy and start rebuilding that part of my life. It’s been really empowering in a quiet but important way.”
You can support Broadview families on their paths to healing. GiveBIG to Solid Ground on May 5 at wagives.org/solid-ground-wa!
Photo at top: Broadview’s Abdali scoops food onto a paper plate while a mom and two kids wait in anticipation of a yummy meal (photo by Rachael Green).
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